Joshua Harris and filmmaker Jessica Van Der Wyngaard has led the book of infamy to a grave with the release of “I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye”. For myself, I found the video more helpful than I expected. Even better, this doesn’t feel like a publicity seeking stunt, and Harris isn’t making any financial gains through the proceeds of the documentary. He even ended publication of the book, meaning he won’t benefit from the attention this evaluation could generate.
As Rachel and I watched the documentary today, we were struck by how refreshing it is for a Christian leader to say they were wrong. What a gift. How rare is it to find men of humility and we are thrilled to see this example. May others follow in these grace-filled steps.
The exaltation of sex, but sex with rules, is dangerously deep within our Christian teaching. The documentary hits on this issue very well, and I’m interested to see us (Christians) continue to develop a better perspective of sex. Our God-given sexuality isn’t a hand grenade to be quickly thrown into the sandpit of marriage. Too often, people treat marriage as the best form of safe sex instead of as a shadow of Christ’s relationship with the Church. Sex is part of healthy marriage, but marriage shouldn’t be a goal “so we can have sex now”.
The sexual revolution led by our current generation’s grandmothers and great uncles really did win when they exalted sex so highly. We need to win back the truth, or better yet, be won back by the truth. As was said in the documentary, Christ is better. Jesus is better than silly rules about how to avoid “giving your heart away”. Jesus is better than dating, or coffee with friends, or marriage and kids. That is the point of our Christ-ianity: Christ. That shouldn’t be lost and when it is, as we believe it was in purity culture, the damage is far reaching.
This view of sex means the way Christians view singles, people who haven’t or who shouldn’t have sex, is heavily skewed. I would hope with a Savior like Jesus and an Apostle like Paul, we could value those who surrender earthly marriage, looking forward to the Eternal Marriage that is to come.
These are only a few quick thoughts, but overall, I’ll take a man like Harris who freely admits his faults, over ten men who justify their works. There may be a few awkward parts to the film, but life is awkward and I just think an hour and fifteen minutes might not be enough time to communicate all the emotions and perceptions that might be shared on the topic. I still think it is very good. The documentary is available to watch for free, and I’d recommend it if you have any interest in this topic at all.
Follow this link to watch: